What Happens When We Argue With Our Loved Ones (Burning Man Sculpture)

When’s the last time you lost your anger at a loved one? What did you do or say to him/her?

Often times when we lose our temper at our loved ones, we say and do things that we later regret. We isolate ourselves from our partner/parent/child/friend, fuming and feeling irate — yet deep down, what we yearn for is to connect with him/her.

This sculpture, created by Alexander Milov for the Burning Man Festival 2015, captures just that. Titled “Love,” it features two wire-frame adults after a fight, distanced and sitting with their backs facing each other. What’s interesting are the two children inside the wire-frames, trying to reach and touch each other despite outer bodies giving each other the cold shoulder.

(Image: Andrew Miller)

Milov says:

“It demonstrates a conflict between a man and a woman as well as the outer and inner expression of human nature. Their inner selves are executed in the form of transparent children, who are holding out their hands through the grating.
“As it’s getting dark (night falls) the children chart to shine. This shining is a symbol of purity and sincerity that brings people together and gives a chance of making up when the dark time arrives.”^[1]

More pictures of the amazing piece:

(Image: Andrew Miller)

(Image: Alec Kondush)

(Image: Andrew Miller)

(Image: thestevenjames)

In many ways, it is true. Many times we are angry at a loved one, but deep down we really care. Our love is just being manifested in not the most constructive or healthiest of ways. If there is a way for us to reconnect, to be back together in peace, we want to do that. But first, we have to put aside our adult egos and our pain.

Some gentle notes for all of us:

The next time you are angry with someone, focus on the loving spirit of your inner child. Remember that underneath your anger is love for the other person.
Don’t focus on attacking but on loving each other.
If there are volatile emotions brewing, give both of you space to cool down.
Don’t snipe. Focus on the problem. How can you solve the problem that’s blocking both of you? Maybe he/she is not ready to deal with this but you can do something about it first. Likewise, sometimes you may not be ready to deal with the problem but the other person can fill in for you for the time being.
When the dust has settled, reinforce your love for each other. Talk with a cooled head and figure out ways to solve the problem… together.

The forgiving, open and free nature of children is your true nature. Inside each angry person is a hurt child trying to connect. Remember that whenever you are with your loved ones.

Share this post with your loved ones to let them know you care. Read as well: